i hate this!..

i'm having it again..i am having the most severe and worst state that i get whenever i am really preoccupied with a lot of things..

symptoms..

first, i isolate myself..i feel i don't belong..i feel i don't know things..so i prefer to be alone..

second, i fight with my friends..i create arguments..i make them mad..i cry..

third, i feel useless..i feel that i should have shown better performance than that of what peopl are expecting from me..

fourth, i stop crying..don't cry again..and feel numb..

this is the worst behavior i have..when..like i said i am so preoccupied..if you tell me that i should drop at least one of things i am thinking of..i'm sorry..i feel that i can't..so i won't..now that i know my responsibilities..it's not that easy to think about myself..it would not be easy..that for a fact i know..

nobody will understand..nobody would want to understand..nobody cares..

:(